Thursday Throwdown
It isn’t enough that I go through life living in ‘Missing Chromosome Hell’, but now I’ve got to be subjected to it on TV and the internet. I’ve decided my Throwdowns could be done more frequently and better annunciated through FecalAgitator, my new bitch blog. Nevertheless, the Thursday edition will always be a little water down and still here on my personal blog.
- Diagonal yellow lines mean ‘No Parking’ not ‘Fat Lazy Bastard Parking’.
- A gas station running out of coffee at 7:45 am should be punishable upon death.
- Drinking Diet Coke with your extra value meal, large, is freakin pointless and irritating.
- When posting in online forums, read at least the majority of the thread before putting your $.02 in. I hate reading the same 5 word response over and over.
- Those on the receiving end of most prejudices perpetuate said prejudice.
Only observations and said only to make myself feel better. Thanks for allowing me to keep my sanity for one more week. I swear, if it gets any worse my high blood pressure will cause my eyes to bleed.
US Airways Causes Urinary Tract Infections
My recent trip to New York City has taught me many things, most importantly, never count on the airline industry. Don’t count on the plane arriving on time, don’t expect there to be peanuts, surely don’t look forward to an attractive stewardess, and lastly, don’t count on having a working restroom.
My flight was supposed to leave Laguardia Airport at 3:00pm, so like a good traveler I arrived at the airport as suggested, 1 hour in advance. At 3:00 an announcement was made that my plane was in it’s landing phase and that we would begin loading shortly. The robotic gate attendant suggested that another announcement would be made when the plane was on the ground.
At 3:30 my plane had not touched down on the tarmac and I was accompanied by about 20 other passengers when I uttered ’shit’ under my breath. What makes matters worse is that at this point, I needed to use the restroom. Plagued by the fear that I would miss my flight, I held, with the intentions to use the bathrooms on the plane. The robot attendant continued to make announcements every 15-20 mins declaring that our plane was in the process of landing. Mind you, never was a delay time given.
No set delay time and apparently an endless landing pattern made my bladder hurt. Due to my noobness at flying, I still not dare leave the gate area for fear of missing my flight. 2 1/2 hours after scheduled boarding time, my plane had finally arrived!
6:30pm, I’m on my way back to Louisville KY, with visions of stainless pee catchers dancing in my head. But what did I hear, much to my surprise, the toilet was out of order and I’d have to hold for another 2 hours. Now, I do not have a UTI yet, but if I do, I’m sending the bill to US Airways.
P.S. For the record, I made it to the toilet in Louisville without any spillage. However, it was a photo finish making for an exciting dash through the gates.
Last TT of the Year
Yes loyal visitors, this shall be the last Thursday Throwdown of 2006! Ready or not, here they come.
- Just because your mentally retarded does not give you the right to physically take food out of my mouth in a public restaurant. Guardians should be responsible enough to control said, peeps.
- Someone should invent freakin self leveling drywall mud….damn’t I hate sanding.
- Why is this the first year I’ve had Dream Sickle fudge, I’ve been deprived my entire life. I blame my parents.
- New cars don’t come with turn signals, just driver-side douche bags.
- My wife won’t let me take the Christmas tree down until after her birthday. She was born on Jan 28th.
That’s all for now, I’ll be looking for all my friends across the net in the new 07. Keep it real kid, because your worth it.
Thursday Throwdown
It’s time for yet another edition of Thursday Throwdown in which I complain and generally bitch about the things that annoy me. You’d think this time of year would provide plenty of material, but alas, people are being overly polite to me lately.
At any rate, here comes a list of annoyances I cannot avoid.
- People who sit directly beside me in an empty restaurant.
- How can people afford nice shoes, nice coats, but not deodorant?
- At some point during the evolution of man they forgot the basics of merging into traffic.
- Despite what my dog may do, your dog is not allowed to shit in my yard.
I know there are more, but at this time my creative bones are restrained from lack of caffeine. I’m sure I’ll post again before Christmas, but if I don’t I wish all my friends a Merry Christmas. Not a Happy Holiday, therefore if you do not celebrate Christmas, I wish you nothing. Get over it.
Thursday Throwdown
I’ve decided to make a theme post, which will surface every Thursday. The Thursday Throwdown will be a post of the things that have driven me freakin bonkers throughout the week, things I hate, rather basically me just whining to those who will listen.
This list is in no way complete, rather a list of things that have been eating away at me. In the future assume that these Throwdown posts will not be in list format, rather a few rants, but for the sake of time here comes a list this week.
- Not using a turn signal should be punishable by death.(Not all new cars come standard with turn signals, most come with the optional driver side douche bag.)
- Why is it that I get the same amount of fries at Hardees when I order a small or a large combo?
- If you cut me off to get a parking spot, I should legally be allowed to punch you in the face.
- How do gas stations run out of coffee?
- Since I quit smoking, I realise just how stinky most of the public is.
That’s all that I can think of first thing this morning. You’ll probably see more added throughout the day.
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